Thursday, July 26, 2007

Football Association of Malayland


we are tired of commenting, criticising, condemning, giving disparaging remarks of our football scene. where did we go wrong? who is to blame? when did it start? what future do we have? all questions agonisingly in need of answers. honestly, i do not see these questions being answered in the near future or even when our vision is in the perfect 20/20.

what else can you say? nothing. it is just disgraceful. short of burning our own national flag on national not.. international TV. if they even know what that act means.

if you are still wondering what the hell i am talking about. NEWSFLASH!!

Malaysia 1 – China 5
Malaysia 0 – Uzbekistan 5
Malaysia 0 – Iran 2

All games were played at the prestigious bukit jalil stadium before thousands of supporters comprising of the ever hopeful Malayland supporters (who are not really hoping for a win but for a creditable performance), Uzbeks and China fans (some of which offering services at a discount before the game but opted not to after the games as Malaysia punya ‘tak boleh pakai!!!’.

Then, the deputy president of FAM resigned. Only him?! Nothing has changed. The working level is still there, to dumb and proud to face the fact that they are actually making a fool of themselves. Let the politicians stay in parliament. No!!! I want a deeper pocket they say.

The media?? Nothing has changed. Articles after articles criticizing the association. The sports news showing and reminding the people of Malayland of our great players. For what?? To remind the people of Malayland that we were once a footballing force?? NOT!!! Did we play in the world cup? The japs, Koreans and china studied our game and look where they are now??

We have technology. We have resources. We have infrastructure. But where are we?? Ranked 149 in the world. To our sports minister, I understand your predicament. Football association’s must be independent from government influence, but that does not stop the ministry to assist the association in strategizing for a better future.

Grassroots? patience is needed. Malayland’s sports and education ministry must work together. I remember the time when we used to play football on a clay field full of stones with no shoes on. That was in school. We didn’t have a proper field but we played. Now, 90% of schools in Malayland have a football pitch. Kids are all wearing branded football boots. But once they reach PMR stage, all quit. Why?? The choice of academic or sports excellence. And knowing the mentality of Malayland, academic comes first. So, stop the footie and on the books now!!!

One more thing. We do not need to have size (look at japan), does it matter? or even skill like the Brazilians. Last night’s game is proof of that. How a country troubled with war qualified for the finals of the Asian Cup. One step away from becoming asian champs. They didn’t have skill. They only needed that alien thing amongst Malayland people called “national spirit”. They value the national jersey as though their lives depended on it. Like the japs, although they lost to the arabs, in the 85th minute, their players were still running and challenging every ball. We have nike written on our jerseys. I know we got it at a discount since it is made here but the spirit is no where to be seen.

Instill this spirit and winning mentality from the moment your child kicks a ball. I don’t think we need PLKN or even national service to do that. the pride which comes from playing for your beloved Malayland and wearing that prisoner like jersey is sufficient to bring up the team’s performance. The nation is 50 years old, not the football players.

So, who should be blamed?? “Stercus Accidit” I say…

Revamp FAM – yes!!
Revamp the league system – yes!!
Grassroots – yes!!
Academic or sports – educate the parents. Academic excellence doesn’t guarantee success. Sports (football) can also be lucrative. Look at EPL, La Liga and Serie A.
Sponsor the national team – yes!!

No matter what happens, I will always support our national football team…. MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!


cAP aYAm

Monday, May 21, 2007

Academy Fooltasia or Failure's Association Cup?

Last saturday, to be exact 19.5.2007, there was a certain buzz in the air. A buzz which has been sweeping across Malayland for the last 10 weeks. Actually, for the last 4 years, the people of Malayland seems to be under the influence of some alien force every time the season commences...


why do i say so??


well... whenever the season begins, people of Malayland are glued to their telly... father, mother, grandparents, kids of all ages including the maids, drivers, gardeners, all captivated by this TV show... not a Malayland original but taken from mexico/spain (need to get my facts rite) TV show...


i always wonder to a point of being bewildered by the ability of this TV show to constantly mesmerise the audience to the extent of being an important issue in parliament... which really shows the mentality of our representatives... i will not dwell in any intellectual discussion on what our non-intellectual representatives talk in parliament and will save it for another forum...



what is the fuss all about??


i dont know... even my 7 months old son is attracted by the intro and the host... whenever the advert is on, his attention will shift to the TV... there must be some sort of subliminal message in the song which attracts attention... not only to babies but even to my grandma... she is blaming us for introducing her to the show...

but seriously... whats in this show that attracts people without fail... even with its challengers, which is suddenly mushrooming, this show is still rated no. 1... to the extent of being able to sell merchandise... its becoming a brandname and to me, the epitome of any show of its kind...



who is the culprit??


no matter what we say about the show... it is an undeniable fact that year by year, it has successfully hypnotise the people of Malayland... is it the song... is it the host... is it the judges... is it the contestants... one might ask... i think all have its equal share... but honestly i think the producers have found the correct formulae... because we have to remember that not only the people of Malayland is glued to the show, they also give their support and trust to its existence by abidingly spending hundreds of ringgit to vote and continue voting...it has become a culture and one commentator even champion it as a source of family unity and even the nation's unity... sorry, but i dont support the latter and i think you know why...


i am also guilty of being dragged into this phenomena although this year much of my attention was on the mighty REDS (Liverpool) saturday games... but towards the end of the 10 weeks, i started to understand what the fuss is all about and what is the ingredient for a TV show such as this...


1. Contestants

1.1 to ensure maximum profit, you need contestants from the Malayland people across the south china sea... at least five... this is because no matter what happens to the contestants, they will keep voting their people although we are ONE Malayland.


1.2 you also need contestants coming from the states in the peninsular but try to get states which were not represented last year... we should understand that although we have been independent for 50 years, we are still not a 'one Malayland'... but a land consisting of 14 states with different sentiments.


1.3 dont get contestants from a well to do family (anak datuk ke, ada kuda ke or even from high income areas, i.e. bukit damansara or bangsar)... always get middle to lower or lowest income group... preferably places where we can show their difficulties in life... this is what we call sympathy votes.


1.4 to ensure that school kids spend their daily allowance to buy prepaid cards for voting purposes, you would need babyfaced boy'ish' character contestants... they will not go far but that will ensure their survival up to the seventh week.


1.5 make sure the contestants go through a rigid screening process to identify their background... make sure that they are not engaged (important), have not filed a police report for a stolen laptop or about to file a police report, not married but single parent might be a plus point.


1.6 it is also important to get contestants who cannot sing and dance... Malayland do not like people with great voices or can dance... they are considered show offs... we prefer people who cannot sing or dance so we can become critics and comment on their performance... suddenly everyone in Malayland are pros in vocal training and dance...


2. host


2.1 just get someone like aznil and you are sorted... thats a tough one...


2.2 the host must be able to put on a straight face when directed by the producer or even the sponsors to announce a different name from what is written on the card...


2.3 not forgetting... he/she needs to know how to sing and dance too...


3. judges/critics


3.1 make sure you get critics who are not so well versed in the industry but know a bit here and there... remember to give them a script or some sort of standard lines/words to memorise so they can repeat it when they feel the need...


3.2 you need a guest critic... this is to obscure the voters because they will then start to comment or even hate the permanent panel's stereotype comments... but guest critic must always be supportive of the contestants...


3.3 introduce a red light in the future... one red light will deduct 10000 votes per contestant... i'm sure that simon guy or paul moss will be a big favourite amongst the fans...


to avoid the risk of anyone copying this concept, i would only comment up to this point and keep areas on teachers/tenaga pengajar, voting system and songs as a secret....


"you said you didnt like this TV show. why are you commenting on it?" someone asked.... "Stercus accidit", i say...


after going for 5 years, i think the show needs to be put to a halt... "you will be depriving the people of Malayland"... yes... i agree... but i think the nation of Malayland has wasted a lot of hard earned cash already... some philisophical doctor commented on the "Debat" programme (i happened to bump into this programme the other day), "we are not forcing them to vote... if they want to vote, its their choice"... how dare you say that!!... where did you get you doctorate from??... the internet???... in our quest of maximum profit... we should not manipulate the people... its our nature with reality TV shows... it is innate that humans feel for the other... an ordinary reasonable person on the rapidkl bus would love to see another ordinary person reach stardom... and we also have people hating that person... so they support another... so sponsors and producers hold that responsibility to ensure that the audience, that is to say, the people of Malayland, is aware of what they are doing... we also have the responsibility to get the best out of the contestants and not merely allow for sympathy votes or hypocrites...



i was posed a question last saturday, 19.5.2007... are you watching AF or FA?... i contemplated... "Academy Fooltasia" or "Failure's Association Cup"... i decided on the former cos watching the 3rd/4th placing of the champions league would be a bore (but saw drogba's goal)... would be better to concentrate my football energy on the final... LIVERPOOL!!!


cAP aYAm



Friday, May 18, 2007

LONG LIVE THE KING!!!

I always thought that this was pathetic... Expressing one's ideas, feelings, emotions, views, hatred, happiness in this world we call the 'world wide web'... Who the hell is going to read it?!!...

tak try tak tahu...

So lets give it a try... not that i have all the time in the world... i am a slave in this capitalist world where the rich become richer and the poor... DIE OF HUNGER!!!

i liken my workplace with the medievil feudal system... actually it was accurately pointed out by a buddy of mine who had the sanity to leave this feudalistic organisation a couple of years ago... whenever he calls, "how is the sultan?"... my reply... the King leaves it to the nobles and the nobles talks to the knights... the knights then instructs the peasants and the peasants forces the slaves...

why am i still there?!! "STERCUS ACCIDIT", i say...

as the feudal system goes... you pay your dues, you will be accorded with the protection and security you deserve... but always pledge your loyalty to the King and his noblemen and beg for the ultimate... the elevation of status... i was once a slave but now a middle to low income peasant... well, i hope i am cos most of the days i still feel like a slave... please do not complain... some people do not even get the opportunity... so... LONG LIVE THE KING!!!



will i survive?... that remains to be seen...


- Aut vincere aut mori -


cAP aYAm